h1

O.J. did it again…

May 11, 2008

Well looks like OJ done gone and fouled things up again.

Only this time his last name isn’t Simpson, it’s Mayo.

Allegations surfaced this weekend against freshman basketball phenom O.J. Mayo. He has been accused of accepting cash and gifts before and during his time at USC, which is in direct violation of NCAA laws.

If true, and all reports look like it is true, this is going to hit USC’s Athletic Director Mike Garrett and his NCAA Compliance Committee hard. With the as yet not proven (or not enforced, depending on your viewpoint) Reggie Bush allegations hanging out there murking up USC’s reputation, this violation will likely carry a sentence that will affect USC Basketball for seasons to come.

And you know what really fricking sucks about that? O.J. Mayo gets off basically scot free since he has declared for the NBA draft this year.

Happy Mother’s Day!

-Your Gridiron Goddess

h1

ARCHIVES: What we mean when we say “Fight On!” or “Roll Tide” or “War Eagle” or…

May 8, 2008

Hello Fellow Football Fiends!

(This post originally ran on September 20, 2007)

This is gonna be a different kind of post for Gridiron Goddess. It focuses on the intangible feeling alums of certain universities get when they say “Roll Tide” or “War Eagle” or, of course “Fight On.” So read on, I hope you enjoy it and WAHOO Another weekend of football is nearly upon us. Oh, and I happen to think this picture of all the USC fans doing their Fight On thing here is a beautiful, sacred thing.

Some people have a security blanket. Some people have a teddy bear.

I have a security sweatshirt.

On Saturday morning, er, almost afternoon actually, as I crawled out of bed close to noon and grabbed my white hooded USC sweatshirt, it suddenly occurred to me just how many events in my life that particular sweatshirt has been witness to.

In February 1987 my father and I went on a road trip. It was my Senior Year of high school and we were off on the obligatory father-daughter bonding college campus trip. We loaded up the banana mobile (a yellow Oldsmobile station wagon that was the bane of my existence until I embraced it for its gigantic 8 cylinder engine) and set out for Southern California.

On our agenda: University of Southern California, California State University Long Beach and the University of San Diego, where one of my best friends was a freshman.

First up was USC, being the closest. It was also not a school I intended on attending. We got lost. We got lost in such a bad neighborhood that when we got to USC, its neighborhood seemed good. Anyone who knows about SC knows this is so far from the truth that it is laughable.

I wanted to go to Long Beach and major in Art. LBSU has a great art program. And if not there, to USD where Didi was and Jodi was going to go. USC was a VERY distant third.

Until I stepped foot on campus. Just seeing the carved rock entrance signs that say University of Southern California gave me chills. And they still do. Seeing the red brick campus and all the students and everything going on there— it was what college was supposed to be. At least to me. So I marched us to the bookstore and bought a sweatshirt. A white hooded sweatshirt with USC on it in Cardinal and Gold.

And it was this moment that I knew this was where I was going to college.

It was this sweatshirt I wore to my Long Beach State visit. It was this sweatshirt I wore to my USD visit. It was this sweatshirt I was wearing on the drive home when we got snowed in at Mountain Pass and had to backtrack to Baker to find a room for the night. And wore to bed because there was a hole in the window, the heat did not work, and the advertised cable television out front that we were so relieved about—well, every time the lobby TV changed channels, so did the one in our room. My Dad and I laughed and laughed and laughed that night.

It was this sweatshirt I wore to nearly every football game of my collegiate career. It was this sweatshirt I wore on every break home—just so that everyone knew I no longer lived there, that I’d gotten out and was going to a fabulous school.

It was this sweatshirt that was at the ready when my parents told me they were getting divorced. It was this sweatshirt that was there when nine years later, they remarried each other.

It is this sweatshirt I am wearing in my first ever picture with my newborn niece. She is now 15 and looking at USC in her future.

It was this sweatshirt I wore when I moved to San Diego. It was this sweatshirt I wore when I moved back to LA. And nearly every weekend for twenty years. It’s been to Chicago, to Las Vegas, to New York, to San Francisco, to Phoenix, to Tucson, to D.C., to Orlando, to Hawaii, to Philadelphia, to tiny Ely, NV; to Paris, to Cabo San Lucas, to St. Thomas, Antigua, Anguilla and St. Martin.

It was this sweatshirt that I wore when I went thru the not changing my clothes phase of breakups with the most serious and loved of my exboyfriends.. It was this sweatshirt that I again turned to when I made the difficult choice to leave The Philly Fan because it was healthier for me. It is this sweatshirt that until recently, I did not even realize had been such a witness to my life. And such a talisman of comfort and home and family. When I chose USC, I took the first step into my adult life. And it is fitting that this first purchase at my school would become my oldest surviving and still in use and most beloved sweatshirt.

Linus ain’t got nothin’ on me with his blanket.

FIGHT ON!

-Your Gridiron Goddess, who will replace this picture tomorrow with one of her in that aforementioned 20 year old sweatshirt. When I am not, you know, drunkity.

h1

ASU Athletic Director Seeks Return to 1950s style Cheerleading*

May 7, 2008

Last week ASU Athletic Director Lisa Love (a former USC Volleyball coach) cut the cheerleading program when pictures of the Sun Devil Cheer Squad posing in their underwear hit the internet via the website The Dirty.com. Reports now indicate the squad will be reinstated in the 2009 school year and have new uniforms.

Their current uniforms (pictured at left) do not cover substantially more skin than the now infamous underwear shot does.

So, when the new squad takes the field in 2009, they will be sporting these uniforms:

Hmmm I don’t know, those might get a bit hot in the Phoenix sun.

* This is a joke people. Actually the whole story was proven to be wrong. This rumor spread like wildfire throughout the internet and main stream media last week. ASU Athletic Director Lisa Love never wrote the email stating she was cutting the cheer program that have been attributed to her.

The ASU Cheer Program is alive and well and will be on the field at the start of football season. No disciplinary action has been taken against the girls for the underwear shot. And that is good, because I was all prepared to come here and rant on the hypocrisy of it all. That underwear shot shows NOTHING that a bikini or their uniforms do not show. In fact, the underwear shot shows LESS than an average bikini.

Case in point, the USC Song Girls in their USC bikinis:

So rest assured Sun Devil Nation, Sparky and the Cheerleaders are safe and sound and will not suffer heat prostration from the old school style unis.

-Your Gridiron Goddess

h1

Administrative Note: I broke my site, do you know CSS?

May 7, 2008

Yes, football fiends, as you can see, my site is still broken. I tried to re-upload my header to wordpress for the template NEAT! and it still is not displaying.

Anyone out there know CSS well enough to look at my coding and see what I did wrong?

-Your Gridiron Goddess

h1

Archives: And the Heisman Goes to…

May 6, 2008

Hello Football Fiends,

Below is an article I wrote in 2004 for the Hollywood Stock Exchange. If I were to rewrite this piece today, I’d have to include Invincible in the list.

The Heisman trophy is being awarded on Saturday night in New York City. Amongst the outstanding finalists are two players from my alma mater. So, in the spirit of Troy, we’ll take a look at Sports movies this week. Much like the Heisman, we have five finalists. I sent a ballot out to a number of trusted colleagues, family and friends and asked them to rank these five films from 1 to 5. I tallied the votes, and my friends, HSX’s Heisman for Outstanding Sports Movie goes to…

You didn’t think I was going to give it up that easily, did you? Like the real Heisman judges, I had certain criteria in choosing my five finalists. They had to have heart. They had to have character. They had to feature a triumph over the odds Four of the five move me to tears every time. One of those four makes me sob uncontrollably. And then there’s the dark horse candidate, the classic comedy.

It was a tight race. We had a three-way tie for first until the last ballot arrived in my inbox this morning. We had dissension and debate in the ranks at HSX - would it be Rocky or Caddyshack? The Natural or Hoosiers? Or, would it be the saddest tale ever told, Brian’s Song? And what about… well, the list of honorable mentions could go on for pages. It seems that everyone has an opinion on what the greatest sports movie of all time is, and they can defend their position vehemently. What I don’t understand is several voters’ assertions that The Bad News Bears must be on the list. OK, The Bad News Bears was a cute little film. But is it Rocky? Is it Redford’s The Natural? Is it the story of Gale Sayers and Brian Piccolo? Absolutely not.

Each film received 5 points for each first place vote, four points for second place, three points for third place, two points for fourth place, and one point for last place.

So, without further ado, I present you with the five HSX Heisman for Sports Movies Finalists.

5. HOOSIERS (1986)
Director: David Anspaugh
Screenwriter: Angelo Pizzo

A small town high school hires a coach with a checkered past plus the local drunk to coach its basketball team. The set up is a recipe for disaster, which of course means this is a story of grit, determination and heart. Gene Hackman, Dennis Hopper and Barbara Hershey star in this film. Set in the 1950’s, the story is a classic David vs. Goliath tale, with the small town basketball team battling it out for the state championship against teams from bigger schools who are perennial powers on the court. Based on a true story, Hackman plays the volatile coach. His portrayal drew comparisons to real life volatile University of Indiana coach Bobby Knight. I’ve known a few guys who consider this the best movie ever made. None of them were consulted for this polling. Hoosiers received no first place votes.

4. CADDYSHACK (1980)
Director: Harold Ramis
Screenwriters: Harold Ramis, Brian Doyle-Murray, and Douglas Kenney

Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, and Bill Murray starred in this classic comedy about an exclusive golf club and the cast of characters that work and golf there. Though the other four films on this list are dramas, I did not feel my Heisman Sports Movie list would be complete without this gem. In high school, we watched this film so many times that each of my friends could do a dead on impersonation of Bill Murray’s “Its in the hole” and we were often telling people we had “happy feet.” A comedy that stands the test of time as this one has deserves to be a finalist. Its theme of rich vs. poor, real estate development, politics, and of course, the crazy groundskeeper are as applicable to today’s society, and therefore as amusing, as they were in 1980. Caddyshack received one first place vote.

3. BRIAN’S SONG (1971)
Director: Buzz Kulik
Screenwriters: Gale Sayers, Alan Silverman (book) and William Blinn

This film about the life and death of Chicago Bear Brian Piccolo ranks right up there with Old Yeller as one of the saddest of all time. Even typing this paragraph has me on the verge of tears, so strong is the emotional pull of this film. James Caan and Billy Dee Williams starred as Brian Piccolo and Gale Sayers. Piccolo was the leading rusher in all of college football in his senior year at Wake Forest University. Considered too small for the NFL, he did not get drafted. Legendary Bears owner and coach George Hallas picked “Pic” up as a free agent. The two were the first interracial roommates in the NFL. They were also best friends. During his physical in training camp in 1969, Pic’s chest x-ray showed nothing amiss. Four months later he had a grapefruit sized tumor in his chest cavity and had to undergo emergency surgery. It was a fast moving and rare type of cancer. Eight months later, on June 16, 1970, at the age of 26, Brian Piccolo died. A month earlier, Piccolo’s best friend Gale Sayers was awarded the NFL’s most courageous player award. He uttered the now famous quote that follows: “I love Brian Piccolo, and I’d like all of you to love him. When you hit your knees to pray tonight, please ask God to love him, too.” Sayers would only accept the award on Piccolo’s behalf. Brian’s Song received two first place votes.

2. THE NATURAL (1984)
Director: Barry Levinson
Screenwriter: Bernard Malamud (book) and Roger Towne & Phil Dusenberry

I’ve always found this film to be haunting. Robert Redford starred as Roy Hobbs, an unknown middle-aged baseball player in the 1930s that appears seemingly out of nowhere to take a losing baseball team to the championship. In flashback we learn that Hobbs’ earlier career was tragically cut short when he is shot by a mysterious woman that continues to float in and out of his life. His bat is his lucky charm, hewn from the trunk of a tree felled by lightning. His aura is one of legend. And the theme music, who can forget that? Robert Duvall, Glenn Close, Kim Basinger and Barbara Hershey co-star. The Natural received two first place votes.

And the HSX Heisman for Sports Movies goes to:

1. ROCKY (1976)
Director: John G. Avildsen
Screenwriter: Sylvester Stallone

Rocky fulfills all the criteria set forth by the HSX Heisman committee (um, Me). It has heart and soul, its intelligent, its got moments of humor, it has a triumph over the odds, and its central character is beloved. Rocky Balboa, our loveable lump of a guy with raw boxing talent manages to string together a rag tag bunch of trainers and managers and boxes his way into the big time. But Rocky is sweet and tender as well as we see in his courtship of Adrian. And anyway, come on, its Rocky, of course he gets the trophy. And like the other films on the list, Rocky stands the test of time. If you are one of the few people in this country that have not seen this film, your assignment it to go rent it. Or, turn on your cable box; it can usually be found playing somewhere. AMC, ESPN and TBS are the most likely sources for it. This is truly a story of what the human will can achieve when it is inspired. Rocky won the Best Picture award at the 1977 Academy Awards Ceremony. Talia Shire, Burt Young, Burgess Meredith and Carl Weathers co-star.

Honorable Mentions: Field of Dreams (1989), Knute Rockne All American (1940), The Bad News Bears (1976), Endless Summer (1966), North Dallas Forty (1979), Bull Durham (1988), Remember the Titans (2000)

And so, we conclude the first HSX Heisman for Sports Movie presentation. Congratulations go out to all of our finalists. Good luck to all of the real Heisman contenders, but especially University of Southern California players Matt Leinart and Reggie Bush. Fight on Gentlemen!

-Your Gridiron Goddess

h1

Bissinger, Big Daddy Drew and the sports blog debate…things rattling around my mind

May 5, 2008

Hello Football Fiends!

OK now I believe that this will be my last post addressing the whole Buzz Bissinger vs The Blogs issue. In my reading today, I came across the Sporting News’ excellent interview with the Man, the Myth, the Legend himself.

In it, he said:

“Someone I knew described him (Big Daddy Drew of Kissing Suzy Kolber) as one of the great sports comedy parodists of all time. That escapes me, but maybe I just don’t have a very good sense of humor… I guess I don’t get the humor in someone f*$#(@# a horse. Maybe I’m just to close too the subject matter…”

Why am I addressing this? Well, horse f*&^%$# aside, some of the funniest isht on the web has come from the keyboards of Big Daddy Drew and the rest of the Kissing Suzy Kolber crew.

That said, I can see where the KSK humor is not everyone’s cup of tea. Their series “The Offseason Adventures of Michael Vick” is some of the most brilliant parody I’ve seen on the internet or otherwise. Today’s post on Barbaro and Eight Belles meeting in heaven, not so much.

But that is the beauty of being citizens of the United States of America. We are entitled to our opinions and to our individual senses of humor.

And now, for your amusement, I present Kissing Suzy Kolber’s Offseason Adventures of Michael Vick:

Episode 1: The Supermarket

Episode 2: The Mall

Episode 3: Matt Schaub is Traded

Episode 4: Meeting with the Commish

Episode 5: Dogfight!

Episode 6: Burglarized!

Episode 7: The Airport (my favorite!)

Episode 8: Indictment!

Episode 9: Betrayed!

Episode 10: Guilty!

Final Episode: Jesus

Enjoy!!!

-Your Gridiron Goddess

h1

Who will LSU’s QB be?

May 4, 2008

Hey Football Fiends!

Well, LSU, fresh off their latest BCS National Championship, finds themselves mired in QB controversy four  months before the start of the 2008 season. Reports out of Baton Rouge this weekend are that Tigers Coach Les Miles has kicked troubled QB Ryan Perrilloux off the team.

The Tigers may not go into summer as a lock to content for the 2008 title, but don’t write them totally off just yet. The dismissal of Perrilloux will benefit the Bayou Bengals in the not so long run. Perrilloux has been suspended from the team three times for personal problems. Though the LSU athletic department has been mum on the extent of the troubled QB’s issues (and good for them for being classy like that!), but his behavior to date has made it clear he is ill fit to lead a team, let alone a major SEC contender like LSU.

So although the Tigers find themselves four months from the start of the college football season and staring down the neck of Harvard transfer Andrew Hatch or redshirt freshman Jarrett Lee as their starting QB, this is a far better place to be in than having Perrilloux rot the team from the inside with his off field issues.

Whichever QB takes over will find themselves behind one of the nation’s best offensive lines, and that is not the worst of places to learn on the job, my football fiends. Hell even your 5′9″ girly girl Gridiron Goddess might not feel so unsafe behind the likes of LSU’s four returning offensive lineman, you know? (OK, so that’s slight exaggeration.)

In any case, Perrilloux was shaping up to be a distraction to the team. Better he is dismissed before the season starts than self-destruct during the season.

Best of luck to the Tigers new QB!

-Your Gridiron Goddess

h1

Buzz Bissinger’s “apology”

May 1, 2008

Listen here.

I still think he comes across as a narrow-minded, running scared from New Media relic of a past age. But he is calmer in his interview here for the most part. You can still hear his ire raise when he speaks about blogs and still goes on in the “nasty, mean spirited” vein.

And sure, there are blogs that are nasty and mean spirited. But this blog isn’t and I’d wager that the vast majority of sports blogs aren’t nasty.

Bissinger talks about being passionate about his subject. So am I, and so are other sports bloggers. Our passion for the subject is why we started our blogs. If we’re lucky enough to build an audience and maybe make some money off of them, well then good for us.

Many many things contribute to the dumbing down of our culture. It is not just nasty-mean spirited blogs. But I will admit, switch the subject to Hollywood and I can see his point, Sites like Perez Hilton, the superficial and what would tyler durden do (none of which I will link to as I won’t give them the traffic) are despicable in my opinion. But that subject is one for my Hollywood blog, not my Football blog.

-Your Gridiron Goddess

h1

the end of an SC Era…

May 1, 2008

As reported by Trojan Wire, tonight at 10pm, USC’s on campus bar, Traditions, or Traddies as it is known to students, will serve it’s last drink.

Check out the article here.

-Your Gridiron Goddess, who has many many memories of good times at Traddies

h1

“Jimmy Olson on Percoset” - A Separated at Birth Special

April 30, 2008

On the now infamous episode of Costas Now in which erstwhile respected journo H.G. “Buzz” Bissinger pontificated on the evils of sports bloggers and attacked the genial overlord of Deadspin, Will Leitch…

Oh hell, I don’t know where that language is coming from… maybe the spirit of a long dead MSM sports writer was possessing my fingers as they sped over my keyboard. hee hee

So yeah we’ve all see the show by now, right?

I give you Jimmy Olson:

And Jimmy Olson on Percoset:

Hmmm yeah, that works, doesn’t it? It doesn’t change the fact that Buzz Billinger acted like a giant ass the other night.

-Your Gridiron Goddess