About Your Gridiron Goddess…

I usually explain my near savant like knowledge of football and love for the game like this: I have brothers. And I went to USC. That shuts about 50% of inquisitors up. heh.

So yeah, About Me. I figured it was time I put something on this page for my readers and (hopefully there are no) stalkers. (Cause that stalking isht? Is Not Funny. I know. I was stalked last year. Grrrrr. He was not a sports fan, for the record.)

But I digress. Hi! I’m Amy, and I am Your Gridiron Goddess. I am a West Coast based writer and fanatical USC Trojan fan. I was born in Chicago, so claim as my birthright my love for Da Bears, The Cubbies, Da Bulls and even the White Sox. My family moved to Las Vegas when I was in 6th grade and they all still pretty much reside in Nevada. I moved to Los Angeles in 1987 to go to the University of Southern California where I majored in changing my major, staying in school forever, and being the best damn Delta Gamma ever. ha ha. In all seriousness, I majored in Creative Writing and Art.

For being such an avid football fan–well, sports fan, but specifically football as the anointed favorite –in college and my 20s I dated a lot of guys who were not so much on board with the whole loving of the sports thing. And yeah I thought it was weird too. For the record, those boys–they did not have brothers. Or fathers present in their lives. They had divorced moms and sisters. Maybe this explains it, I don’t know. Although I am pretty sure if I ever have kids, single, divorced or happily coupled–my kids will all be huge football and sports fans and not so much with the soap operas and Miss America pageants.

I dated a tried and true diehard Philadelphia Eagles fan for 4 years. That was interesting. heh. My main focus at that time (2002-2004/5 basically) was college football. But over the years of spending all day Saturday in front of the tv and my photographic memory and players going to the NFL, suddenly Sunday was rife with players I’d been watching and following for years. And thus began the part of my life where I became a walking talking stats encyclopedia and officially eclipsed that former boyfriend the Eagles fan’s knowledge of the sport and game and stats and well, some egos just can’t handle being beat by a girl.

A small digression to illustrate the “getting beat by a girl” point. I was down the jersey shore a few summers ago and one night found myself the only girl in a $20 buy in game of Texas hold em. I cleaned everyone out in two hands. The next day, when the Eagle fan ex’s Uncle Pete asked what my trick was, I looked him right in the eye and matter of factly stated: “A push up bra and a look of confusion on my face.” Uncle Pete approved. And the Jersey shore boys HATED being beat by a girl. To which I said, did I mention I’m from Las Vegas? This did not go over well. The next day the same group of guys–all aged early 30s to late 40s mind you, challenged me to a game of Horse. Hi, I am 5′9. And have a sweet spot where I cannot miss if I try. I schooled them. I may have permanently damaged a bunch of male egos in the vicinity of Sea Isle City and Avalon New Jersey in the summer of 2005. Ooooops.

Heh. I do rock, yes. Thanks for noticing.

So am not sure why there is this large male driven backlash against women who know their football but I refuse to be bothered by it. I love football. I don’t love football, or, er, excuse me, pretend to love football to attract guys. No, I am that crazy yelling at the tv in the bar chick who doesn’t give a rat’s ass what anyone else thinks, she is watching her football, leave her alone thankyouverymuch. Yeah, I am basically a guy in a pretty spiffy girly wrapper. HA HA HA Remember my poker strategy–”push up bra and look of confusion” — it throws people off. HA HA HA No, I am not as evil as I sound. Spirited. Crafty. Too smart and smart assy for my own good. Sure. “Motherfucking Grossman, who were you throwing that ball to there down the field where no teammate is. We KNOW you have a pretty long ball Not so Sexy Rexy, what we NEED is for you to DELIVER that ball into an eligible receiver’s–on your OWN TEAM GODDAMNIT–hands.” Yeah, being a cute, stacked girl keeps me from getting beat up. I am aware of this. I am like a zoo exhibit for some guys, they don’t know quite what to do with me. “You mean she can talk about GMs AND she has boobs? Uh….” lol I kid, I kid. Mostly. I just have fun turning people’s perceptions inside out. I look one way. But in truth, I’m a guy when it comes to sports. And cars.

Did I mention I have brothers?

And I went to USC?

And my next dog is going to be a black Labrador that I will name Walter Payton. “They call me Sweetness and I like to dance, when I run the ball it’s like making romance…”

-Your Gridiron Goddess —who will admit to a now totally embarrassing crush on Bears QB, #9, Jim McMahon back in the oh, 1984-85 era. When she was like 14, 15 years old. “I’m the Punky QB known as McMahon, when I hit the turf I’ve got no plan.” Trust me, my embarrassment over this fact is large. And yes, I have seen the pic of him in the man fur. And I shuddered.