A Harem of the Gridiron Goddess Post: ByronVolFan on the SEC

August 17, 2007

Hey ya’ll!


Hello and welcome to “The Gridiron Goddess: SEC Preview” brought to you from south of the Mason-Dixon line, the home of Elvis Presley, Sun Studios and the world’s best BBQ, the heart of SEC country, and, judging from the temperatures outside, the part of the world that is hotter than the hinges of hell!!  The only saving grace for this time of year is College Football…more precisely, Southeastern Conference Football. 


Very few schools/conferences have the same atmosphere that an SEC school has in regards to football. (and yes, Amy, I am including USC as one of those schools.  USC is a misplaced SEC team…as is Penn State, Michigan, Texas, Oklahoma, Texas A&M, and Ohio State.  Also, we do not consider Notre Dame as such.  A true SEC’er is raised to pull for the Communists over Notre Dame.)  Consider Mississippi (Ole Miss).  The Grove has been named, by several writers, as the ULTIMATE tailgating experience.  First, let me say, I hate Mississippi with a fiery passion.  However, The Grove is incredible.  Families have tailgated in the same spot for generations.  They bring out the family silver…the ones that Great-Great Grandfather shimmied up the chimney with to hide from the Yankees in the War of Northern Aggression.  Have you ever seen a chandelier at a football game?  Have you ever seen a chandelier at a football game powered off the same generator as a 48” Hi-Def TV alongside of a satellite?  Have you ever seen all of this in addition to some of the most beautiful women in cocktail dresses and immaculate hair/makeup?  This is SEC football.  This is the pageantry.  Every school has their own traditions and stories that are told every Saturday in the fall.  True, every school has these as well, however, I would say that SEC football cannot be felt in the head…it is felt in the same place we touch the Almighty.  These traditions are as sacred to us as the stories we heard in church growing up.  “Thank you for Jesus and Bear Bryant” has probably been uttered more times than we care to admit. 


While I am an SEC apologist, I do not defend some of the crazies that occasionally peek out from their cages and find a forum for crazy talk.  As a University of Tennessee alum, the degree that hangs on my wall decreases in value every time some idiot blasts his “Rocky Top” car horn.  I get embarrassed whenever these idiots get on the talk shows or national message boards with such lunacies as “The SEC Champion should automatically play for the national title each year…because they won the SEC and the other conferences suck”.  While, I do tend to agree that the SEC does cannibalize itself and sometimes our champion does not get the recognition it deserves…*cough Auburn 2004 cough*, this guy should be thrown into the same loony ward as the guy that keeps calling to defend Jeff Tedford as a genius! (sorry, Pac-10, had to take a little jab there!)  Please know that I am not one of those people.  I do believe that we have the best conference in college football.  I do believe the BCS and the designated hitter was sent from Satan himself and that college football will become the last pure amateur sport when we have a playoff.  I am a red-blooded American college football nut, who just happens to talk a little slower and a little more like Kevin Spacey in “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil” than the rest of the country.  So, allow me to refill my mint julep, light a good cigar, and sit on the patio swing and I will tell ya’ll how the SEC will finish the 2007 year.


LSU (12-0, 8-0)

Auburn (10-2, 6-2)

Arkansas (9-3, 5-3)

Alabama (8-4, 4-4)

Miss. State (5-7, 2-6)

Ole Miss (4-8, 0-8) 

LSU: Easy schedule and loaded with talent.  I’m still not convinced that Les Miles is a great X’s and O’s coach, though.


Auburn: Usually the most underrated team in the SEC.  They always seem to quietly win 10 games without anyone noticing.  Good play at QB could make up for green RB.


Arkansas: McFadden, McFadden, McFadden.  If they figured he could play linebacker, they’d have him play that as well.  However, there’s very little passing threat.  Even the great McFadden can’t run through a 9 man defensive front.


Alabama: Saban is better than Shula, yes.  This year…not by much.  Lots of close games though.


Mississippi State: BIASED ALERT: This is my second favorite team in the conference.  I grew up watching them.  That being said…consider this…MSU was 3-9 last year.  4 of those 9 were lost by within 3 points.  One play…ONE PLAY in each of those games and poor little Mississippi State would have been bowl-bound.  Let us not forget that there were games when they were on 3rd and 4th string QB’s.  However, I’m not stupid enough to send them bowling.


Mississippi (Ole Miss): Walk-on QB…loss of 1st round draft LB…loss of another great LB…only saving grace is one RB and one lineman.  Sorry, Pac10 fans, they’ll be sending you back Orgeron.


Tennessee (10-2, 6-2)

Florida (9-3, 5-3)

Georgia (8-4, 5-3)

South Carolina (7-5, 3-5)

Kentucky (5-7, 2-6)

Vanderbilt (5-7, 1-7) 

Tennessee: BIASED ALERT: My Vols have the best returning QB in the league in Ainge.  The D-line and LB corps is among the nations best.  Great 1-2 punch at RB.  New offensive scheme and the best OC in college football (he took the title when Chow went to the Titans).  WR’s are new…but this is Wide Receiver U.  Also, the rest of the East is on a downtick.  UT’s Atlanta bound.


Florida: Tough to rebound from supplying the NFL Draft with so much talent.  Tebow’s going to have to learn how to do more in a game than run off the left tackle.  Too many green players to win the close games.


Georgia: My biggest question mark in the league.  Probably beat UT, but not Florida…and end up dropping one or two more along the way.  Not sold on the QB play despite showing SOME moments of satisfactory play last year.  Defense could save them from embarrassment.


South Carolina: Though their coach has sold his soul to Satan more times than Robert Johnson and Faust combined, I still can’t drink the Gamecock Kool-Aid yet.  The loss of a big-time receiver, a D that’s never really lived up to the hype…I’m just not willing to supplant the top-3 in the East with THIS group of ‘Cocks (Amy, that one was for you!).


Kentucky: One superstar QB does not a great team make…especially with UK’s D. 


Vanderbilt: Do I even really need to go here??


Thank ya’ll for reading this and wasting your time here.  Special thanks to Amy, my dear online friend, for the opportunity to waste time this week telling ya’ll what I think about everything. 

 Good luck to everyone’s team this year and…GO VOLS!


  1. Thank you oh Harem Member Byron! Excellent post! GO VOLS! And I totally agree, USC is so SEC-like in tradition, etc. And Sorority Rush. heh

  2. […] Goddess Finally, a hot chick who knows her football as well as the guys « A Harem of the Gridiron Goddess Post: ByronVolFan on the SEC Friday Blog Roundup: Live from San Francisco August 17th, 2007 Hello from San Francisco! […]

  3. Oh Lord, you went into the sorority girl thing…and I just remembered…your Alpha Chapter is at an SEC school (your sorority sisters with my late aunt, so I know these things!). Amy, that Southern Belle is coming out more and more!!!!

  4. Hee. Marissa said I am a bit of a Southern Belle too. And yes, I of course know my Alpha chapter is an SEC school. And in fact, I may be part of the expansion team if we get the go ahead for one of the SEC schools. HEH HEH

  5. Excellent SEC preev. I went to UCLA at ‘Bama in ’01 and got a taste of SEC ball. My Bruins won, and after the game Tide fans came up to us and said, politely, “But our conference is still better.” I chose not to kick ’em while they were down and didn’t engage.

    This Pac-10 guy agrees Auburn got hosed in ’04, and as to Tedford’s “genius”… after his Knoxville debacle last year, I’ll reserve judgement till the Vols show up in Berkeley – LESS THAN TWO WEEKS FROM NOW! I’ll be at the Coliseum when they kick off up north.

    And yes, LSU’s sked has strong undefeated potential. They get Aub, Fla and Va Tech at home, and miss Ga and Tenn, but it’s going to come down to Flynn, right?

    I shall be rooting against Les Miles for the next 4 months – his diss of the Pac-10 was facutally wrong. He’s our new Antichrist. Go Sylvester – Aug. 30th!

  6. One more thing: When a college football preview mentions Faust and Robert Johnson, you know the writer actually went to one of the schools he’s talking about.

  7. Marcus…Yes, Les Miles shot his mouth off. I’m not surprised. I’ve never been a huge Les Miles fan…and, barring any injury or Hurricane Katrina 2, if he doesn’t go undefeated this year, he needs to be fired. This year’s been gift wrapped for him.

    As for my Faust and Robert Johnson nods, that was one of those things that, when I wrote it, I thought “Where on Earth did THAT come from?”…GO VOLS!!!

  8. Byron, Harem member to harem member, when you wrote your post did you see a “publish” button anywhere? For the life of me, I can’t find one. All I can do is edit and save, but not publish.

  9. Cool site and great information!!!

  10. […] is back for the fourth year in a row with his SEC Football […]

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