Archive for November, 2009

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NFL Picks: Thanksgiving Edition

November 25, 2009

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It’s TROY WEEK: Even kids know fUCLA!

November 25, 2009

(Thanks to Trojan Wire for the image!)

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It’s TROY WEEK and UCLA STILL SUCKS

November 24, 2009

In 1979, the Trojan Marching Band played on the Fleetwood Mac recording of Tusk. Football Fiends, thanks to the wonders of You Tube I bring you the USC Trojan Marching Band after beating Cal:

And some more scrumpdiliciousness U-C-L-A Sucks goodness– See it doesn’t matter whom or where we are playing. The answer to the Trojan Marching band playing Tusk is ALWAYS U-C-L-A SUCKS. In fact, whenever, wherever, however, I hear Tusk, the answer is always U-C-L-A SUCKS

Here’s the rally in Lincoln, NE in 2007 before the Cornhuskers game, U-C-L-A Still Sucks:

And here’s the TMB and Song Girls in Arkansas Stadium, still U-C-L-A SUCKS

It doesn’t matter. NO ONE IS AS GOOD A VICTORY FOR THE TROJANS AS UCLA.

Remember, U-C-L-A SUCKS!

-Your Gridiron Goddess

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It’s Troy Week – USC Band Alternate Lyrics for UCLA Fight Song!

November 23, 2009

Trojan faithful learn the lyrics to this spoof on the UCLA fight song practically before we learn FIGHT ON!

Westwood High
lyrics by the USC Marching Band

High up in the hills of Westwood
Sprawled offensive to the eye
Lies a Cal extension campus
Known as Westwood High. (high, high, high)
Home of all the Bruin bearcubs
UGLY is its name,
The student body’s vile,
The football team’s a pile,
And the campus is a shame.

U clap, clap, clap
G clap, clap, clap
L clap, clap, clap
Y clap, clap, clap

U – G – L – Y

EAT MY SHORTS!

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College Football: RIP UGA VII

November 19, 2009

Football Fiends,

It is with a heavy heart that I pass on the news that the adorable 4 year old bulldog mascot for the University of Georgia UGA VII has died today. His handsome wrinkley face has been a fixture at the school for more than a year. He died early Thursday of heart-related causes in Savannah, Georgia, according to its owner, Frank “Sonny” Seiler.

My heart goes out, once again, to the Bulldog Nation on this very sad day. My dear sweet Sally Bananas passed away in September, so I know how it feels.  He will be buried in a vault at Sanford Stadium with Ugas I-VI.  I am heartbroken, y’all.

UGA’s I thru VI will be in heaven to welcome UGA VII with open paws.

-Your Gridiron Goddess

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USC Football: Bandwagon Now Departing at Fig & Jefferson

November 19, 2009

Football Fiends,

In some circles, I’ve been called a Bandwagon Fan. This post is in answer to those charges. (Which were obviously made by people who do not know me very well, nor have they spent much time reading my posts.)

I am not just a sports blogger, or a football blogger, I am primarily a USC Blogger. I’ve been a huge fan of the University of Southern California since I was a kid. I grew up in a family with many ties to Notre Dame  and choosing USC as a kid was a way to be ornery and annoy my older relatives. Choosing USC as my college had everything to do with falling in love with the campus and the Dean’s Scholarship I was awarded.  Let’s just guesstimate my fandom started around 1978.

That’s not a bandwagon fan folks. A bandwagon fan is well, any of the number of unwashed, uneducated masses that have adopted USC as their own simply due to our recent success. And trust me I don’t want to see them in my cardinal and gold any more than you do.

By definition a Bandwagon fan is someone who adopts a popular point of view for the primary purpose of recognition and/or acceptance by others. USC has more than its share of bandwagon fans. I am happy to announce that their particular bandwagon is departing now every hour on the hour from Downtown LA. They are bound for Palo Alto. Congratulations Stanford, you can have ’em!

True USC fans are THRILLED to see the bandwagon fans jump off our cart. Bandwagon fans are the most annoying thing in sports.

So while my non-USC Pac-10 brethren laugh at USC’s humilation at the hands of Stanford, the one thing we have in common is our glee at waving “Buh-Bye Now” to the legions of Bandwagon USC fans. Try not to twist your ankle as you jump off our bandwagon in favor of the latest flavor of the week. Fickle fans we do not need.

I write about USC because it is a school that I love to a ridiculous degree.

I am, and remain always, Extremely Proud to be a USC Trojan. Even if we never win another football game again. Which, you know, will not be the case.

-Your Gridiron Goddess

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Will Ferrell & Pete Carroll host Make It Better

November 17, 2009

Will Ferrell and Pete Carroll host a night of comedy to benefit A Better LA.

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USC vs Stanford: Rumors of the demise of the dynasty are greatly exagerrated

November 16, 2009

Hello Football Fiends!

Did you know Stanford’s Jim Harbaugh is a giant flaming stinking pile of isht? You didn’t? Well now you do and trust me, I’ll remind you again and again.  Look, I give the guy all the credit in the world for the coaching job he’s done at Stanford over the past three seasons. Stanford is a difficult program to get to succeed what with the school’s pesky academic requirements and yet Harbaugh took a 1-11 team and three seasons later had them pull off back to back upsets of top ten ranked teams. Impressive. However, the man needs a giant personality transplant. What a nasty piece of work he is. He seems to have a giant chip on his shoulder where USC football and Pete Carroll are concerned. Well his shit talking, rudeness, and mocking will be tolerated no longer. The USC Mafia will call him out and He. Will. Pay.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s address all these ridiculous “The Fall of Troy: The Dynasty is Dead” statements the press has been screaming from their pulpits. People. Let’s get real. USC has the talent, it has the depth, it has Pete Carroll. After seven years at the top of the Pac-10 pile, and with coaching attrition the likes of which no other major collegiate program has (a whole post dedicated to that will go up this week) Pete Carroll’s Trojans were due a rebuilding year.

Three losses is not the end of the freaking world folks. Nor is it the end of the elite status of USC football. Let’s take a look at what Pete Carroll has accomplished in his years at USC:

2001: 6-6-0 (5-3-0 Pac-10) Loss in the Las Vegas Bowl to the University of Utah,  Not Ranked

2002: 11-2 (7-1 Pac-10) Pac-10 Champs, Finished the season #4, Carson Palmer Heisman, Beat Iowa in the Orange Bowl, lost to Kansas State and Washington State

2003: 12-1 (7-1 Pac-10) Pac-10 Champions, AP National Champions, Beat Michigan in the Rose Bowl, finished season ranked #1 AP  #2 BCS, only loss was to Cal by 3 in triple overtime

2004: 13-0 (8-0 Pac-10) Pac-10 Champions, AP and BCS National Champions, Matt Leinart Heisman, Beat Oklahoma in the Orange Bowl for the BCS Nat’l Championship, Wire to wire AP #1

2005: 12–1 (8–0 Pac 10) Pac-10 Champions, Reggie Bush Heisman, Played Texas in the Rose Bowl for National Championship and lost, end season ranked #2 Only loss of season to Texas in Nat’l Championship game

2006: 11–2 (7–2 Pac-10) Pac-1o Champions, Beat Michigan in the Rose Bowl, finished season #4. Lost to Oregon State and UCLA

2007: 11–2 (7–2 Pac-10) Pac-10 Champions, Beat Illinois in the Rose Bowl, finished season ranked #2 in the Coaches Poll, #3 in the AP Lost to Stanford and Oregon

2008: 12–1 (8–1 Pac-10) Pac-10 Champions, Beat Penn State in the Rose Bowl, finished season ranked  #2 in the Coaches Poll and #3 in the AP, Lost to Oregon State

Folks, those are some pretty consistent numbers. So we have three losses so far this season, so what. Consider the case of the University of Florida football program.  Urban Meyer took over the Gator football program at the start of the 2005 season. They went 9-3. The following year, in 2006, Florida won the SEC and the BCS National Championship game.

Then 2007 rolled around and the Gators lost 4 games. They lost to  Auburn, LSU, Georgia and Michigan (in the Capital One Bowl) and ended the season ranked #13.  Tim Tebow won his Heisman that year.  Did anyone cry “end of an era” “The dynasty is over” back then? Hell no. In fact, for years after the Miami Hurricanes and Florida Seminoles started dropping off the national radar, they were also still given the benefit of the doubt. Words like rebuilding and phrases like “a down year” were bandied about. The media stressed the rich recruiting in the state of Florida and stated that the Gators (or Hurricanes or ‘Noles depending on the year) would be back.

So why not cut USC some of that same slack folks? We’ve got a true freshman at QB who has a bad habit of throwing balls into coverage. We’ve got a new offensive coordinator who has shown some of the worst play calling in FBS division football. Our defense is…bizarrely slow and out of position most of the time. We’ve got discipline and chemistry problems. Sometimes those things take a season to work out. Sure, that hasn’t really happened in the Pete Carroll era of USC Football yet–but let’s face it, all those John David Booty led teams, while successful, didn’t really set the world on fire. Matt Barkley will mature and with that maturity he will become a stronger player and USC will rise to the top of the Pac-10 and BCS once again.

And you know what? It’s just one season. So stop rubbing your hands together in glee celebrating USC’s fall from grace. While many streaks do die this year (seven straight Pac-10 championships, seven straight BCS bowls, seven straight 11 win seasons, etc), this is no cause for true alarm. Pete Carroll and the Men of Troy will work the kinks out.

And when they do, boy, I wouldn’t want to be Jim Harbaugh or the Stanford Cardinal. The complete lack of class they showed on Saturday will be paid back to them. You can’t keep USC down for long, especially not with Big Balls Pete at the helm.

-Your Gridiron Goddess

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Well that was depressing…

November 14, 2009

And I am sure, Football Fiends, that I will have a whole fucking lot to say about tonight’s loss to Stanford tomorrow. Right now, well, Jim Harbaugh is an ASS. Going for 2 point conversion when up by 27? Way to show good sportsmanship Asshole.

See? This is why I need a little distance from tonight’s debacle before I can write about it.

We’re 4-3 in the Pac-10. Gah!

Am going to go watch bad romantic comedies now. Then I can convince myself the tears are for the shmaltzy movie, not my beloved Trojans’ third loss of the season.

(Reports of the Dynasty being over are greatly exagerrated. More on that later. But hello, Florida lost 3 games in 2005 and no one crowed about the crumbling of their program. )

OK really, I need to not think about this right now.

-Your Gridiron Goddess

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USC v Stanford: Keys to the Game

November 13, 2009

So yeah USC v Stanford.  I can’t say I’m looking forward to this game. In fact, I dread it.

I am about as big a Trojan fan as they come. My car’s license plates are LOVSCFB (Love SC football). I passionately USC+v+Stanford+OWttMaEjzDOlrooted for my team throughout the dark days known as the 1990s. I plotted ways to take Paul Hackett out. Anything to help my Trojans. So it pains me to say this, but: We very well could lose this game.  I would not be surprised if we do.

We’ve been riddled with injuries. We have no true team leadership. We’ve played six of our nine games on the road. We’ve played five ranked opponents.  We now come home to the Coliseum to face Stanford. And we’re beaten up. And the rose colored glasses have been ripped from the eyes of both fans and players alike.

We face Stanford, who has handed USC its last three losses in the Coliseum and is coming off a big win over Oregon.  However, we have one big fat advantage going into this game:  Some of the key injuries that have hampered the Trojans all season are healing.  The biggest advantage for the Trojans is the return of the powerful and dynamic fullback Stanley Havili. Havili gives the offense a big boost in firepower and playmaking. Tight end Anthony McCoy is expected to play this weekend. Linebacker Malcolm Smith and defensive end Everson Griffin return and look to restore some of the power to their Trojan team that was lacking last week against ASU.

WR Damian Williams is still doubtful for Saturday, which could present an issue for this young offense. Center Kristofer O’Dowd is still out.  USC is starting true freshman Devon Kennard at strongside linebacker. You can’t underestimate the loss of Williams, as he’s been the most consistent play maker for Matt Barkley. The biggest evidence of chemistry on this Trojan team is between Barkley and Williams.

The Trojans are not lacking in talent or depth. They never are. But where this 2009 team differs from other Trojan teams of the Pete Carroll era is in discipline and chemistry. Last week at ASU the Trojans had 9 penalties for 98 yards. That’s inexcusable. Where is the leadership on this team?  Surely the revolving door on the coaching staff can’t help (and will be addressed in a future post).  QB Matt Barkley is 19 years old.  Basically, Trojan fans are spoiled and this is a rebuilding year that has been nearly a decade in the making.

On Twitter last night, a friend asked me if Carroll has hit the end of his prime. I don’t believe he has. He’s only been at USC since 2001. I believe the true problem lies in the new coaching staff.  Offensive coordinator Jeremy Bates is an NFL guy and has sucked calling plays for the Trojans. It makes one wonder if he’s reviewed the tapes from 2001-2008. Because this 2009 offense is not a Trojan offense. Rocky Seto, the defensive coordinator, has some truly odd schemes going this year. Odd and ineffective.

I said last week that this Trojan team bore an eerie resemblance to the Paul Hackett teams of a decade ago. And for any Trojan fan that lived through that dark era in history, it was enough to make you sick. But this isn’t a Paul Hackett coached team. It’s a Pete Carroll team. We don’t call him Big Balls Pete for nothing.

Can we win this game? Of Course We Can. The only thing beating the Trojans right now is themselves. The penalties, the lack of chemistry and discipline, the anemic play calling, the injuries.  We have the talent.  We’re just lacking in experience.

I predict it will be a close one in the Coliseum on Saturday. It’s Homecoming for USC, and I really don’t see this team dropping a game at home especially on Homecoming. Look for another ugly win by the Trojans.

Follow me on Twitter @GridironGoddess

(This post was originally posted to Buster Sports)

-Your Gridiron Goddess

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