Archive for the ‘gridiron goddess general info’ Category

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Guest Post: ByronVolFan with the 2010 SEC Football Preview

August 6, 2010

Hey there football fiends!

ByronVolFan is back for the fourth year in a row with his SEC Football preview.


2010 SEC Football Preview

by Byron Earnheart aka ByronVolFan of the Gridiron Goddess’ Harem

It is time.  I was watching the re-showing of “America’s Got Talent” last Sunday night (because my wife is 9 months pregnant and controls what we watch) and there it was…the announcement…the NFL’s Hall of Fame Game kicking off in 1 week.  The most useless overhyped football game of all football games…and I nearly cried.  It means my beloved sport…the new American pastime…is coming to recall us back from the brink of becoming a soccer-crazed nation.  Yes, I got soccer fever for awhile, but it left me lagging like a Daniel Lincoln field goal.  The game has abandoned Tiger Woods…LeBron has joined forces in Miami and will forever have any victory tainted by the fact he is on the NBA’s equivalent to the New York Yankees.  What a terrible summer!

But, fear not, Gridiron Goddess fans…there is hope.  She is a bright and shining star beckoning you to stay the course…the North Star in a turbulent sea.  She is football…and she will make you laugh, cry, bleed, and laugh…all at once.  This is especially true for us SEC fanatics.  The time of monitoring spring practice and the idiots who post useless information on the whims of 18 year olds is over.  It is time for football.  It is time to be filled with pride when your team takes the field to defend the honor of your state against those infidels across the state line.  It is a time for revenge or to taste the smarting sting of shameful defeat once more.  But it is time…

So, allow me to set down my mint julep, light a cigar, recline in my rocking chair on the porch in my seersucker pants, and tell you what I think about everything about this upcoming year.

SEC Championship Game:  Alabama over Florida.  This year, it is these two teams at the top and everyone else clawing behind them.  And I hate that.  My Volunteer heart burns at this fact…but it is true.  Alabama is still too good and Florida is too green.  Alabama will have a tougher schedule as the West is much deadlier than the East…but the division titles are these two teams’ to lose.  Don’t be surprised if Urban Meyer cries at the end of this game…partly from chest pains and partly because he realizes he probably should have redshirted Tim Tebow.

Now, in their predicted order of finish within the division, here are my thoughts on the rest of the league by division:

SEC West:

The best division in the league this year and possibly the country.  Yeah, I said it.

1)      Alabama: As stated before, it’s theirs to lose.  2 MONSTER RB’s returning and a VERY adequate and tested quarterback.  On D, I always like stellar linebackers and ‘Bama is stacked there too.  Yes, McClain is gone…but Hightower is a beast too.  Very talented.  Expect the name “Nick” to outpace “Bubba”, “Junior”, “Larry”, “Hank”, and “Garth” in baby names in the state of Alabama in 2011.

2)      Arkansas:  This is the year for them.  If Petrino can get enough credibility to move on to his next mercenary position, this is the year for him to do it.  Mallett is  a stud.  That’s all there is to it.  Don’t be fooled by the Liberty Bowl performance.  I was at that game…and cold doesn’t even begin to describe it.  Nobody could have performed well in those conditions…and ECU isn’t that bad of a team.  Their game, at home, against Bama is for the West…but don’t get too excited.  Key losses in the D-line will hurt and I just don’t see the Hogs stopping Ingram and Co.  But take heart, your “Woooo Pig Soey” (or however you spell that) will be just as ignorant at the Capital One Bowl  or Cotton Bowl as it would be in the Sugar Bowl.

3)      LSU: This is no reflection on my belief in LSU talent or coaching.  As predicted, last year, Les Miles began to show his true ignorance.  This is a team that has been living on borrowed time since Saban left.  “Yeah, but they won a National Title”.  Yes, they have the distinct privilege of being the first 2 loss national champion, violating every reasonable football strategy, and still winning.  There is such a thing as “Reversion to the Mean” in football and when you tempt fate as much as the Miles has…it will bite you as it did last year. ..and last year could have been worse.  LSU was beaten at Mississippi State and if not for a rookie mistake from Mullen with a QB who might be 5’8”, the Bulldogs would have been bowl bound and we might have been talking about the Malzahn era at LSU.

4)      Mississippi State:  See above.  This is a team on the rise.  Great young talent that’s gotten some good game experience and, arguably, one of the top 5 coaches in the SEC.  Mullen did a great job with almost no talent last year and, if not for a freakish defensive play on a questionable offensive call, they would have beaten LSU and been in a bowl.  “But, you attacked Miles’ coaching and praising Mullen’s”.  Yes, because Miles has coached longer, won a title, and is at a “better” program.  I’ll give Mullen one call…Miles has had years of stupidity to prove my point.  Back to State…great QB talent in the hands of a great QB coach…mean defense coached by an up and coming DC.  If you follow Southern football at all, you’ll admit that MTSU had a fairly good defense…well, that guy is at State which means exponentially better players playing in an aggressive style.  Regardless, State will beat Ole Miss and, in any year, that’s all that really matters.

5)      Auburn:  This was the toughest call for me.  For one, I didn’t really watch much of Auburn last year.  They always seemed to be playing when a more interesting game was on.  Yet, they managed to do MUCH better than anyone expected.  I put them behind MS State only because I watched more of them than Auburn.  Truthfully, 3-5 on this list could be put in any order you wish and will probably be close.  I don’t know where the wins/losses will be, but, at first glance, Auburn should pull 7 games out this year.

6)      Ole Miss: My, how the high and mighty have fallen.  Masoli will not save this team.  Name me the last great QB that Nutt ever produced?  Matt Jones, right?  Well, that’s an assumption in calling him a QB and not the precursor to a Wildcat formation.  The amount of talent this team has lost is astounding.  I’m sorry, but this will be a bitter year for the Rebels.  I hope the warm embrace of their new mascot (Which I’m sure will be ridiculous…Admiral Ackbar was almost there!) will keep them warm along with their toddies.  And the really sad thing is that they may start 5-0.  However, it only gets easier when UL Lafayette comes to Oxford.  6-6…and that’s a stretch…but not a good SEC showing.

The East:

It’s Florida’s year…and the rest are there to keep Urban Meyer’s medication flowing.  (That’s just wrong…I’m sorry)

1)      Florida: Tebow is gone but this team is still stacked.  The East is theirs to lose.  Meyer, all health related jokes aside, is a heck of a coach and recruiter.  Kermit the Frog could coach this team and still get it to Atlanta for the SEC game.  Brantley will do just fine at QB and A.J. Jones will be great at LB.  It will be a tougher road than in previous year, sure, but with the East as down as it is…

2)      South Carolina:  Man, this kills me.  Robert Johnson…I mean Coach Spurrier…has got to be on the way out.  What’s he done for the program?  Yet (and this is sad) he has the best returning QB in the East in Garcia.  However, losing a beast like Norwood at LB will be tough, an easy SEC East schedule should make up for that.  Being 2nd in this division is like being 2nd in “Rock of Love”…you’re still nasty and horrible.  (I’ve got to stop watching the reality TV my wife forces on me!)

3)      Georgia: Drunk texting from the AD?!  Nice!  The only way it could be worse would be if their players held up a student while wearing their practice jerseys!  Ha ha ha ha…um, wait a minute, that’s us.  Anyway, what can I say…underperformed last year…but AJ Green, to me, is still a stud.  He’ll get the touches and get yards.  Moving to the 3-4 should be good for a fairly solid LB corp and Easley proved to be fair as the RB.  Don’t get too excited…

4)      Tennessee: I have been dreading this paragraph for months now.  The incident with “he who shall remain nameless” has deeply set my beloved program back.  Bravado is one thing…but making Spurrier’s deal with the devil look innocent is something else entirely.  As Amy is a friend of mine and putting my thoughts and opinions on her website, that’s all I can say about that!  Seriously, this will be one of the “rebuilding years”.  We have the number one punter and kicker coming in, so that’s good.  Seriously, there’s some talent on this team…but too much is untested and green.  The D will be serviceable and if the offense can occasionally get some first downs, we should be fair.  I have no idea how good Dooley will be.  The Big Orange Kool-Aid is like Guinness…the further one gets from Knoxville, the worst it tastes.  If I was hesitant about “he who shall remain nameless” until the first game, (And by and large, I was) then it will take a few games for Dooley.  If you’re looking for some sort of quantitative analysis…we might make a bowl…we might not.  That’s what I got for you there.

5)      Kentucky: Another team on the rise…but just can’t find the apex.  Randall Cobb is coming up on his 15th year in college football and should be good again.  They’ll be like last year…good solid 7 win season but nothing flashy but exceeding expectations and keeping the boosters happy until Calipari can falsify some more SAT scores for his basketball team.

6.) Vanderbilt:  Who cares?  Really, I’m sorry.  I know you lost your beloved coach who barely sniffed at .500 during his time there.  You had Cutler.  You beat Tennessee once.  Good job.  But when I read the returning starters list for the ‘Dores, it’s like reading a list of the Federal Reserve

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Your Fantasy Football Reality Check – #1

July 10, 2008

Welcome Ladies, Gentlemen, and fantasy leaguers of all ages to the inaugural installment of Gridiron Goddess’ Your Fantasy Football Reality Check!

My name is Stephen Lamare. I am the youngest brother of the resident Gridiron Goddess Amy, and I’m here to share the insights I’ve gathered from my 11 seasons of fantasy sports with the loyal readers of Gridiron Goddess. Every Thursday leading up to the regular season I’ll be previewing each fantasy relevant position, beginning with Quarterbacks next Thursday, followed by Running Backs, Wide Receivers, etc. The aim of this column is to provide you with useful tips and applicable advice on:

1) How to approach your fantasy draft

2) How to structure your line-ups from week to week and

3) How to manage the free agent/ trade market.

Before I get started handing out any advice, I’m going take you on a trip down memory lane.

The first season of fantasy football for me was back in ’95 (Our commissioner tallied the weekly final scores by using the newspaper box scores on Mondays and Tuesdays.), when a young Brett Favre was my 1st round draft choice. I finished that year 15-1 with my only loss suffered in the fantasy super bowl- I know, it WAS devastating at the time. However, I rebounded, never gave up, and have enjoyed a very successful fantasy run since.

In 172 career fantasy football games I have compiled a 117-55 record with 3 fantasy bowl appearances, two championships in ‘02 and ‘07, playoff berths in 10 of 11 seasons, and only one season at .500 or less. After my first championship in ‘02 (coincidentally the year I re-named my team the South Park Cows) I was invited to join two separate fantasy rotisserie baseball leagues, and I ended up winning both in ‘03.

Following my fantasy baseball sweep, I branched out and tried my hand in a head to head fantasy basketball league where I had my most successful season yet – an undefeated year in ‘05.

All in all, I have accumulated six fantasy championships in three different sports, so if it isn’t football, rest assured my sports mind is always active.

If you’re a serial fantasy leaguer like me, this likely isn’t the only site you’re shopping for advice from. With that in mind, it’s my intention to deliver the not so obvious tips and strategies that have helped propel my own success. I’ll tell you why it’s paramount to have a legitimate #1 QB on your squad in next weeks article.

The following week we’ll explore the ever receding contributions of the #1 RB and the rise of the committees.

After that, I’ll be informing you how depth at the wide receiver position are quickly making receivers more reliable than any running back outside the top ten.

Most importantly I’ll be hammering home the REALITY CHECK that your later round draft choices can be and often are the keys to your championship run.

We’re just over a month and a half away from the start of the ‘08 NFL campaign, so if you haven’t already- GET STARTED!! Check back here next Thursday and every remaining Thursday until the end of the regular season for the advice you’re looking for.

Happy Football Everybody!
Stephen Lamare

This post sponsored by NFL Odds and Betting.

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A Harem of the Gridiron Goddess Post: Walker Sports with ACC Preview 2008 – Atlantic Division

July 9, 2008

Your Gridiron Goddess is happy to welcome Walker Sports to GridironGoddess.net with the ACC Preview for the Atlantic Division. He’ll be back on Saturday with the ACC Coastal Division preview. Enjoy!

Your ACC Preview – Atlantic Division

by Walker Sports

College football season is just over 50 days away, and I cannot wait. While traditionally Saturday is a Rugby day in Walker-Sports land, even rugby takes a back seat to college football. Walker-Sports originates in ACC territory and lives and breathes ACC football, yes the conference is now 10 years removed from their glory days, but better days are coming, and as out of conference scheduling picks up for many schools the ACC will soon be flexing their muscles for all the NCAA to see once again.

So saddle up, make yourself a pull pork sandwich, pour yourself a shot of Southern Comfort (or a glass of Merlot if you’re at a UVA game) and get ready to watch to some ACC football the way it was meant to be. Tough and gritty with a wide open race to the finish.

ACC Preseason Preview Atlantic Division

Clemson Tigers: There is no doubt that the Clemson Tigers are the cream of the crop when it comes to ACC football, they may even be among the elites in the NCAA. However, there is one small problem. They are the Clemson Tigers, their coach is Tommy Bowden and we have all heard this story before and it always has the same sad ending. The Tigers are stacked with talent Cullen Harper at QB is a stud who completes a high percentage of his passes. At tailback Clemson has arguably the best two tailbacks in the ACC with James Davis and C.J. Spiller. On the defensive side Clemson is returning eight starters and will look to use their speed to apply pressure to opposing teams and knock them off their game plan early.

The biggest problem Clemson will face will be keeping focus and finishing what they started. Too often Bowden’s crew has been the most talented team in the ACC, but not the most disciplined team and the result is another, 8-4 season; great if you’re Duke, but a waste if you were thinking BCS in the preseason. Let’s hope they don’t do the same this year.

Record: 10-1

Key Games: Alabama, Florida State,

Florida State Seminoles: Okay, so this was a tough one, and I’ll be the first to admit that the ‘Noles got the nod because of who they are and prior reputation, but nonetheless they made it into the second spot. Drew Weatherford has been in college since about 1990 it feels like. By now he has to be the most experienced QB in the NCAA, and that will be a big help. Weatherford was aided by the addition of Jimbo fisher as an offensive coordinator last year, and he will look to build on that previous success.

The biggest asset for Florida State is a weak schedule. They open with four consecutive home games. Matter of fact the ‘Noles won’t leave the state of Florida till mid October. This means Florida State has a good chance to rack up some quality wins at home and that could go a long way in an average ACC conference.

Record: 8-4

Key Games: Colorado, Virginia Tech, Clemson,

Wake forest Demon Deacons: Wake is in the middle of their greatest run in school history. While the coffers don’t have the talent they once had two seasons ago, they still have enough to get the job done. That means they will be .500 at the very least and with a little bit of luck they can jump into the second spot in the Atlantic Division. The bulk of their success will depend on if they can move the all on offense. Last year the Demon Deacons were routinely out gained and it cost them.

Record: 7-5

Key Games: Clemson, Virginia, Boston College

Maryland Terrapins: The Terps have struggled the past few seasons. The bulk of their problems have resulted from inconsistency at the quarterback position. Despite the instability the Terps are a tough out especially for ACC opponents. Ralph Friedgen seems to get his teams to play just well enough to keep his job. That means the Terps will be playing spoiler to a couple of ACC opponents. I would like to say that dropping WVU from the schedule would help Maryland this season, but adding Cal is no cakewalk. Look for the Terps to upset some ACC’s teams bid for a title, just hope it’s not yours.

Record 6-6

Key Games: Cal, Boston College, Wake forest

Boston College Eagles: The honeymoon is over for Coach Jagodzinski and company. Last year Jags was a first year coach and he feasted on the fruits of Tom O’Brian’s labor, mainly his grooming of QB Matt Ryan. Now Ryan along with a load of other talent is gone, and the Eagles are ready to return to earth. BC is only returning 10 starters meaning they will be very inexperienced and that leads to mistakes and close loses. As usual BC will be solid on both lines, but they just won’t have enough fire power to be in the mix. This will be one Boston team that does not bring home a championship.

Record 5-7

Key Games: UCF, North Carolina, Wake forest

North Carolina State Wolfpack: Tom O’Brian is a hell of a coach, and he will be put to the test with this NC State team. They lost 10 starters from a 5-7 team, and they only have freshmen to replace them. Combine that with a brutal non-conference schedule and you can bet the Pack will slide before they are ready to climb again. But hang in there NC State supporters, this year may be rough but positive results will be coming down the pike very soon.

Record: 3-9

Key Games: Wake forest, East Carolina

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Maintenance Alert

January 24, 2008

Greetings, readers.  I am delurking for a second to let you know that the Goddess’ laptop is in for unscheduled maintenance.   She will return as soon as possible..

Regards,
mG

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NFL Picks! Get your Week 16 NFL picks here!

December 20, 2007

UPDATE 11-5

Hey football fiends!

Can you BELIEVE it is week 16 already? Where did the season go?

Pittsburgh over St. Louis 41-24

Dallas over Carolina

Jacksonville over Oakland

Minnesota over Redskins

Patriots over Dolphins

Lions over Chiefs

Browns over Bengals

Packers over Bears

Giants over Bills

Indy over Houston

Arizona over Atlanta

Seattle over Baltimore

Eagles over Saints

Titans over Jets

Tampa over San Francisco

San Diego over Denver

-Your Gridiron Goddess

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WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS MY FRIEND…*

December 2, 2007

* ALTERNATE TITLE: USC IS THE BEST FOOTBALL PROGRAM IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND.

and EVERYTHING’S COMING UP ROSES…

hee. Hi football fiends.

USC 24

UCLA 7

SEVEN! SEVEN SAD LITTLE IMPOTENT POINTS.

LIFE IZ GUD. LOLZ.

More tomorrow afternoon. I am drunkity after a festive Friday and Saturday and plan to sleep late.

-Your (drunk) Gridiron Goddess, who realizes it is early but is very tired so wishes you a goooooooood night

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How to build a walrus in three easy steps

November 29, 2007

Step 1. Take Mike “shanny” Shanahan’s beady little eyes:

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Step 2: Add Mark Mangino’s neck rolls

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Step 3: Finish it off with Andy Reid’s ‘stache

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And you will have your very own Walrus:

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-Your Gridiron Goddess