Archive for the ‘Oh No Romo’ Category


Put ’em in the Hall: Brian Mitchell

September 23, 2010

Brian Mitchell/UPI

by Oh No Romo

Brian Mitchell belongs in the Hall of Fame. He made the return specialist position sexy before Devin Hester and Dante Hall ever did.

Let’s face it, Mitchell made returners a hot commodity. And he did it during a time when there was a lot of returners (Eric Metcalf, Tim Brown, Darrien Gordon, and Desmond Howard).

Mitchell was a fifth round selection of the Washington Redskins in the 1990 NFL Draft. You might remember that draft for featuring the likes of Emmitt Smith, Cortez Kennedy, Junior Seau and even Larry Centers (who was picked in the same round, but ahead of Mitchell).

Washington at that time had Earnest Byner (fast forward to 6:44) and Gerald Riggs, among their running backs. Most running backs wind up fielding kick-offs for punts. Mitchell didn’t do much his first season in Washington, but he did get a rushing touchdown.

In ’91, Washington’s Super Bowl season, Mitchell put up a career high in punt return yards with 600, leading the NFL. His two punt returns for touchdowns also led the NFL. Mitchell had a 69-yard return for a touchdown in the opening game of the season against Detroit.

Mitchell would put up the big numbers again in ’94, when he finished third in the NFL in punt return yards (behind Brown and Gordon). His two returns for touchdowns also had him in a tie for first with Gordon, Metcalf and the Giants Dave Meggett.

Mitchell also led the league in punt and kick returns, yards per punt return, and kick and punt return yards.

The ’95 season was Mitchell’s Pro Bowl year.  Mitchell led the league in All-Purpose yards, beating out returners like Glyn Milburn, Eric Metcalf, and even star players like Emmitt Smith, Barry Sanders and Jerry Rice. Mitchell finished third in the NFL in kick return yards.

While he was racking up the yards in kick returns, Mitchell didn’t get his first kick return for a touchdown until 1997. He only has four career kick returns for touchdowns, which ties him with Devin Hester and Andre’ Davis, among others, for 14th all-time. For the record, Josh Cribbs leads the way with eight returns for touchdowns.

In the ’98 season, Mitchell finished third in punt return yards and punt returns. He also had his longest kick return of his career, a 101-yard return for a score against San Diego in week 14.

Mitchell played a couple more seasons and went to Philly in 2000. In ’02, Mitchell finished second in the NFL in punt return yards. Mitchell played his final season with the Giants in ’03 and retired soon after.

Mitchell holds numerous records. He’s the all-time leader in punt returns, kick returns (and punt and kick returns combined), punt return yards, kick return yards, as well as the punt and kick return yards combined.

Mitchell is second all-time in all-purpose yards with 23,316 yards. The only person ahead of him is Jerry Rice.

Mitchell’s credentials are worthy of having a bust in Canton. Even if he only made the Pro Bowl once, he’s still worthy of it. He’s by far one of the best, if not THEE best, return specialists of all-time. For that, he belongs in the Hall of Fame.


Fantasy Football Reality Check: The One Where I (Almost) Win A Game

September 21, 2010

by Oh No Romo

It’s official, I am 1-1 for the season. Team Kotite picked up its first win of the fantasy football season. It was a narrow 51-50 victory. If it wasn’t for Garrett Hartley’s big night on Monday, I would have won by possibly five or more points. Then again, I could have lost if any of those field goals were from 50-yards or more.

Update: I actually did lose that game. Damn mathematics! Damn it all to hell!

I admit, it was definitely a terrible performance in week 2. The fact that I won is a huge surprise to me. None of my players scored more than nine points for me.

Greg Olson came close to crossing the 10 point plateau, but he only had one catch the entire game (granted it was a touchdown catch, but wave your hand in the air more young man!)

Josh Scobee, my kicker, had a decent game, despite his Jaguars getting blown apart by the Chargers. Jerome Harrison was a letdown once again! Eric Mangini knows how to make me puncture a Moon Bounce. It’s like he prefers Peyton Hillis over my guy!

Jamaal Charles didn’t have as much of an impact for week 2 as he did for the first week. I’m torn on what to do. It’s like Todd Haley likes Thomas Jones or something. Give the ball to Charles! It’s so fun yelling at coaches to play my guys, especially when I don’t really care all that much.

After deciding to make a move for Steve Breaston, I find myself disappointed by his results during week 2. Breaston had 10 total receiving yards on Sunday.

I’m thinking about making some quarterback changes for this week. I won’t spoil who I intend to go for, but I’ll give you a hint: he will be playing this week!


Put ’em in the Hall: The Ken Anderson Edition

September 16, 2010

This is a new series of columns written by the one and only, Oh No Romo. The series hopes to go over some of the names on the 2011 Preliminary Nominees for the Pro Football Hall of Fame. So enjoy!

by Oh No Romo

Ken Anderson belongs in the Hall of Fame! I’ll say it, no problem at all. Any quarterback that can take the Cincinnati Bengals to the Super Bowl surely deserves a spot in Canton.

Ken Anderson

When you hear the name of Ken Anderson, most people my age don’t really know who that is (He retired before I was born, if that’s any indication).

While Boomer Esiason might be more well-known for his time with the Bengals, it’s Anderson who owns all the Bengals career passing records. Anderson leads the team in passing yards (32,838), touchdowns (197), wins (91) and completions (2654).

The Bengals drafted Anderson, from Augustana College in Illinois (D-3 BABY!) in the third round of the 1971 NFL Draft. The draft included such quarterbacks as Dan Pastorini (of Houston), Archie Manning (New Orleans) and Jim Plunkett (New England, but best known for his time with the Raiders).

His draft class also includes Hall of Famers like John Riggins (6th overall pick), Jack Youngblood (LA Rams), Jack Ham (Pittsburgh) and Dan Dierdorf (St. Louis Cardinals). In fact Anderson was selected in front of Lynn Dickey and Leo Hart, who only played three games in his career.

Anderson played 16 seasons in total, all of them with the Bengals. You don’t see many quarterbacks play their entire career with one team. But if it’s any indication of how long Anderson’s played, Brett Favre played 16 seasons with the Packers.

Anderson, went to four Pro Bowls and was named All-Pro once. His All-Pro season, 1981, was all the season he took the Bengals to their first ever Super Bowl. Anderson was fifth in the league in passing (3,754 yards) and third in touchdowns (29), both were career highs. He even threw the fewest interceptions in the league, for players starting the entire season.

After a terrible game in week 1, throwing two interceptions against the Seahawks, Anderson passed for 252 yards and two touchdowns in the win against the Jets.

Anderson’s best game that season came against the Browns on November 29. He completed 80 percent of his passes and threw four touchdowns (two of them to Cris Collinsworth) in the route against Cleveland, 41-21.

Cincy clinched the division with a 12-4 record. It was their first playoff appearance since 1975. (They tied for first in the AFC Central in 1976, but lost both games to Pittsburgh).

The Bengals took care of Buffalo in the Divisional round, 28-21. It was a balmy compared to the conditions they’d play the AFC Championship in.

In subzero temps, the Bengals froze Air Coryell and the San Diego Chargers, 27-7. Anderson passed for two touchdowns, but the Bengals kept the ball on the ground for the most part. Besides, who really wants to catch a football in -30 wind chills?

The dream would stop for the Bengals as despite a three touchdown performance (one rushing) by Anderson, the Bengals fell to the 49ers, 26-21. The MVP of the game was 49ers quarterback Joe Montana. Maybe you heard of him? Apparently, Montana was kind of a big deal! He does those Sketchers commercials now.

The next season, Anderson set the NFL record for completion percentage in a season with 70.55 percent. Saints quarterback Drew Brees broke the record last season with a 70.62 percent completion rate. However, when Anderson set the record, 1982 was a strike shortened season. But that shouldn’t take away from the consistency of Anderson.

Anderson also holds the third highest completion percentage in a game (minimum 20 attempts) in NFL history. Anderson completed 20-of-22 passes against Pittsburgh in 1974. Kurt Warner and Vinny Testaverde are ahead of Anderson.

Anderson wasn’t able to replicate the success of ’81 and ’82. He started only two games in 1985 and retired after the ’86 season.

Anderson is currently 25th All-Time on the NFL career passing list. Had Kurt Warner played another season, he would have passed Anderson. He did finish ahead of his ’71 Draft counterparts, Pastorini, Manning and Plunkett.

Anderson’s 197 touchdown passes (32nd best all-time) puts him ahead of the three quarterbacks mentioned. He’s also ahead of the likes of Troy Aikman, Roger Staubach and Joe Namath, all Hall of Famers.

His career completion percentage of 59.3 percent is 40th best all-time. However, that puts him ahead of Dan Fouts, Warren Moon, Bart Starr,  Fran Tarkenton, Johnny Unitas and John Elway. And again, they are Hall of Famers.

I could probably talk about this subject until I am blue in the face. But there’s plenty of evidence out there to prove that Ken Anderson is a Hall of Famer. He’s been a finalist twice. Hopefully, he’ll get his shot this year.


Fantasy Football Reality Check: Week 1 Recap

September 14, 2010

by Oh No Romo

The first week of the NFL season is officially done. And as expected, I lost my first Fantasy Football game of the season. But you know what, I only lost by 11 points. The final score was 87-76. So it’s not like I had no shot at winning.

I exceeded expectations with several positions. Jamaal Charles, Nate Washington and the Detroit defense all played beyond the call of duty for me. Washington led the Titans in receiving on Sunday and scored huge on a 56-yard reception against the Raiders.

Charles led the Chiefs in rushing, despite his splitting carries with Thomas Jones. However, Charles clearly made something out of nothing, by rushing for 92-yards, including a 56-yard rush for a touchdown.

My Detroit defense held the Bears to just 19 points. However, the four turnovers helped my Lions stay in this game. Just a FYI, I went up against the Jets defense, if that accounts for anything.

For starting quarterback, Derek Anderson was…well…he was Derek Anderson. He almost threw for 300 yards, but did lose a fumble.

I did have my letdowns of course. Every team has them. Jerome Harrison, Chris Chambers and Greg Olson all let me down.  I’m getting a weird feeling that Peyton Hillis will be getting more carries over Jerome Harrison. I’m not sure what I ever did to anger the Mangini, but please, PLEASE, give the kid more carries.

Chambers only had 14-yards on Monday night against the Chargers. Hey Matt Cassel, I know you’re my back-up quarterback in fantasy, but would it hurt you to throw to Chambers more?

As for Greg Olson, I feel let down the most by him. He fumbled the ball in the red zone. Olson has proven himself to be a favorite target of Jay Cutler’s, but that wasn’t the case on Sunday. So…Let’s pick it up, can we?

I’m not sure if I can get the same kind of production this Sunday. That said, adjustments will have to be made. I’ll have another fantasy column on Friday. Until then, keep dancing!


Fantasy Football Reality Check: The Roster Part 1

September 8, 2010

by Oh No Romo

After choosing not to do a live draft and instead go with an autopick draft, Team Kotite is complete. And I must admit, the results are a bit surprising, considering some of the guys I hadn’t even put in my rankings for the autopick.

In fact, I’m still trying to figure out why Antonio Bryant is on my team. He was released by the Bengals. Why do I have him!? The guy’s been hurt during the offseason.

No matter, he has been released from the team, but I figured it should give you an idea of my roster. That said, here’s my team.

Quarterback: Derek Anderson, Arizona Cardinals- Anderson won the starting job over the recently released Matt Leinart. After a 3,700 yard passing season in 2007, Anderson’s numbers dropped off in 2008 and 2009.

Anderson played a combined 18 games in his final two seasons with the Browns. Anderson was indeed the more experienced of the quarterbacks in Arizona.

Back-up quarterback: Matt Cassel, Kansas City Chiefs

Running Back, Jamaal Charles and Thomas Jones, Kansas City Chiefs

For the record, I have no clue as to why I have two KC running backs. I can tell this will need to change. Charles has potential, as he came in after Larry Johnson was let go by KC, last season.

Charles rushed for 1,100 yards in his second full season with KC. He could have a huge year, but he’s also got Thomas Jones in the backfield with him. Maybe this is strategy, maybe it’s not. I can’t take both of these guys, so we’ll see how it all goes.

Back-up running back: Laurence Maroney, New England Patriots

Wide receivers: Nate Washington, Tennessee Titans and Chris Chambers, Kansas City Chiefs

Why the hell do I have all of these Chiefs players? Are they even going to produce for me? Do I need to change the name to Haley? What the hell is going on here!? This isn’t funny!

Back-up wide receiver: Mario Manningham, New York Giants

This is all I have for part one. Tomorrow, I will take care of the tight ends, defense and kicker. I should also have my line-up announced for then too.


Fantasy Football Reality Check: The New Class

September 6, 2010

by Oh No Romo

The Prologue

Once upon a time, during the magical season that was 2008, I took first place for the first time in a football fantasy league.

No doubt, it was a magical moment in the history of Oh No Romo. There was a sense of vindication. Nobody could question me, because I won! I freakin’ won! I did so with the namesake and Joe Flacco at the quarterback position. What does that tell you!? (Okay I benefited too from the Ronnie Brown Wildcat special!)

Despite going 8-5 in the regular season, I pulled off the impossible in winning. Parades were held in a celebration. Folk songs were written about my team’s conquest in the playoffs and thus parodied by Weird Al Yankovic. Baskin Robbins created an Oh No Romo flavor for a day.

Okay, none of that was actually true. No town wanted to hold the parade. The folk singer wrote a song that never caught on in the AAA (Adult Album Alternative) charts and Baskin Robbins laughed me out of the store.

Most importantly, I didn’t receive a monetary type of award. No money was made in this my greatest conquest. No trophy or medal was ever received. It seemed almost as if my victory was as meaningless as being the first commenter to yell “FIRST” on a popular blog or online news article. It meant something to me, but not enough to brag about it at parties and job interviews.

So when the 2009 season rolled around, I sat out of the game. That’s right, I decided not to play fantasy football. The game meant nothing to me, it felt like. How was it any different from playing Madden? You can create your own team, turn off the salary cap, and win eight straight Super Bowls if you wanted. Now that’s fantasy!

However, much like a former smoker misses his or her Camels, I missed playing fantasy football. The desire refuses to leave.

But what’s the point of winning if you have nothing to play for? I never gamble on sports, with a possible exception to the NCAA Tournament.

My plan

Instead of playing to win with the best players I can get through a draft, I intend to play fantasy football using the worst players.

How many wins can you get if you have a crappy team? I am unaware of if this has happened before, or if there has even been columns using this idea, so I’m unsure of the success (or failure) rate.

The best way for me to have fun with this is to put out the worst team possible. Everybody wants to win, but if they start losing, they give up maintaining the team. If I go 0-13, so be it. I want to have the worst fantasy football team possible. I want to make losing sexy again. And I’ll stick with the program and maintain the team.

By no means am I doing this to insult those who play fantasy football. I don’t think of it as making a mockery of fantasy football…actually yeah I am making a mockery. Fantasy football deserves a loser column. Somebody has to take on this task and it might as well be me.

I’m sick and tired of the obsession over fantasy football. It’s nice to know the stats, but I don’t need to know who I should pick in the 12th round. Who gives a crap? Pick who you want to pick! If you want to pick a kicker in the first round, then go for it! Grow a pair and take Gostkowksi!

I don’t need fantasy football to make my life valid. That’s what technology is for! I fear that some out there might feel it’s all or nothing.

I sense an obsession of the game with some out there. We crave it, turning what is fantasy into our own personal reality. It’s like turning Ann Veal into Sarah Michelle Gellar. Face it, we’re always stuck with Veal and not because she’s funny.

I have little clue what I hope to do with this fantasy column. Hopefully, you find it to be entertaining. Maybe you think it’s informative. And maybe it will lead you to look in the mirror and realize that what you want to be reality, can only be fantasy.


Guest Post: 2010 Big Ten Preview Part 1

July 30, 2010

Oh No Romo drops into Gridiron Goddess to share his Preview of the Big Ten for 2010.

Big Ten 2010: Eyes on the Bucks


With the season less than a month away, it seems as though Ohio State has its eyes on the prize for another run atop the Big Ten mountain. While they might have received from stiff competition from Iowa last season, hope springs around Columbus at the thought of another BCS berth.

If the Buckeyes hope to succeed, they will need to do so behind third year starter, Terrelle Pryor, who is on the Davey O’Brien watch list. Pryor’s performance in the Rose Bowl Game against Oregon left a strong impression. Will we see that Rose Bowl type of performance this season.

Currently, the Buckeyes are a consensus for the top five in numerous preseason polls, including No. 2 in the Sporting News top 100 poll.  However, how much stock can be put into these preseason polls? The season will surely tell us.

Ohio State in fact opens up the season with their first four games at home, including a showdown with Miami on Sept. 11. The same Miami that is ready to spring back into prominence, led by their own star at quarterback, Jacory Harris.

They’ll face tough road tests against Wisconsin, Minnesota and the Stanzi’s. If all goes well, it could mean another Rose Bowl berth for those Noun Phrases.

Iowa Hawkeyes

Who can forget this wonderful little quote from the Orange Bowl, courtesy of Captain America, Ricky Stanzi, who also finds himself on the Davey O’Brien watchlist. Last season, Stanzi proved that he loves his country and guided the Hawkeyes to a Orange Bowl victory over Georgia Tech.  I wish I could get him these pants.

Stanzi was among the leaders in interceptions in the conference, last season. If the senior wants to prove himself worth of the O’Brien trophy, he’ll need to step it up a notch.

However, it’s important to note that the Hawkeyes aren’t really known for their passing game. When I think Iowa football, I think defense. Rest assure Hawkeye fans, Iowa’s got the defense to get them to another 10-win season.

The Hawkeyes led the Big Ten last season in passing defense and were third behind Ohio State and Penn State for scoring defense. With Adrian Clayborne back for his senior season, opposing offenses will be watching out, as will the Lombardi Award people.

Homefield will surely factor in for the Hawkeyes, as they get Wisconsin, Ohio State, Penn State and Michigan State at home. With their defense still well intact, there’s no reason why the Hawkeyes couldn’t win nine games. (But they’ll still lose to Northwestern).

Penn State Nittany Lions

It’s not really a Penn State Preview unless we talk about Joe Paterno. Well, I think the clip should suffice. Despite finishing tied for second in the Big Ten last season, the Nittany Lions found themselves playing in the always popular Capital One Bowl.

The road isn’t much easier this year for Penn State though. The defending national champions, the University of Alabama, will host the Nittany Lions on September 11. Penn State will also have road games against Iowa and Ohio State.

The big question for Penn State will be who starts at quarterback. The choices are reportedly between Matthew McGloin and Kevin Newsome. Right now, odds favor Newsome, but that could change. With only underclassmen quarterbacks on the roster, Penn State has a decision to make on whom gets the chance to lead the Nittany Lions.

Michigan State Spartans

Why does Greg Jones have his own web site? Is this some Heisman ploy? I don’t know, but I know what to use for wallpaper when I get my new laptop.

It will be all on Jones to step it up for the defense this season. The All-American had nine sacks last season, fifth best in the Big Ten. He also led the Big Ten in tackles with 87.

So to sum up the preview for the Spartans in 2010, it’s all about Greg Jones Greg Jones Greg Jones Greg Jones Greg Jones and Greg Jones. I’m sure Mark D’Antonio wishes he could have 11 Greg Jones’ on defense

Wisconsin Badgers

What can be said about the Badgers that hasn’t already been said? Well what has been said about the Badgers? I’m so confused!

That said, whatever happened to Brooks Bollinger? He had so much hope and then he lost his job to Brett Favre. Granted, it’s not like it was an epic training camp battle.

I didn’t know somebody stole Ron Dayne’s awards. I should really read more Wisconsin news. And who knew that they awarded NFL conference championship rings? I sure didn’t know that for sure.

Michigan Wolverines

I’m not really sure what to say about Michigan. I fear that head coach Rich Rodriguez will force me to work out an extra four hours on Sunday.

And if you’re wondering, yes there is a Fire Rich Rodriguez web site. It’s a good design, but they could have used a better font for the banner. Maybe something a bit lighter..

But enough of the design critique. The real question will be: Tate Forcier or Denard Robinson? Odds favor Forcier, but who knows. This is pretty much a do-or-die season for Rodriguez. The pressure is on him to make the right decision.