Posts Tagged ‘Fantasy Football’


Fantasy Football Reality Check: It’s Time to Mix It Up A Little Bit

September 24, 2010

by Oh No Romo

Well after the sad news of finding out that I actually DIDN’T win in week 2, I am indeed 0-2. Damn you Garrett Hartley and damn you fantasy football mathematics. I guess I shouldn’t count all of my chickens before they hatch.

I made a move this week to add Panthers quarterback Jimmy Clausen to Team Kotite. I’m struggling with whether to start Clausen against the Bengals or Derek Anderson against the Raiders.

I stand a better chance with Anderson than with Clausen. But this is Jimmy Clausen’s first start. We’re talking about the pride of Charlie Weis here people! He could lead the Panthers to the promise land and another division title! Yes, I’m aware that its wishful thinking. But that’s how I roll!

This will be a decision I struggle with the rest of the weekend.

For new starters, I’m putting Cadillac Williams in over Jerome Harrison. With my luck, Harrison runs for 200 yards, but who knows.  Everything else will pretty much stay the same.

Enjoy the weekend!


Fantasy Football Reality Check: The One Where I (Almost) Win A Game

September 21, 2010

by Oh No Romo

It’s official, I am 1-1 for the season. Team Kotite picked up its first win of the fantasy football season. It was a narrow 51-50 victory. If it wasn’t for Garrett Hartley’s big night on Monday, I would have won by possibly five or more points. Then again, I could have lost if any of those field goals were from 50-yards or more.

Update: I actually did lose that game. Damn mathematics! Damn it all to hell!

I admit, it was definitely a terrible performance in week 2. The fact that I won is a huge surprise to me. None of my players scored more than nine points for me.

Greg Olson came close to crossing the 10 point plateau, but he only had one catch the entire game (granted it was a touchdown catch, but wave your hand in the air more young man!)

Josh Scobee, my kicker, had a decent game, despite his Jaguars getting blown apart by the Chargers. Jerome Harrison was a letdown once again! Eric Mangini knows how to make me puncture a Moon Bounce. It’s like he prefers Peyton Hillis over my guy!

Jamaal Charles didn’t have as much of an impact for week 2 as he did for the first week. I’m torn on what to do. It’s like Todd Haley likes Thomas Jones or something. Give the ball to Charles! It’s so fun yelling at coaches to play my guys, especially when I don’t really care all that much.

After deciding to make a move for Steve Breaston, I find myself disappointed by his results during week 2. Breaston had 10 total receiving yards on Sunday.

I’m thinking about making some quarterback changes for this week. I won’t spoil who I intend to go for, but I’ll give you a hint: he will be playing this week!


Fantasy Football Reality Check: Getting Ready For Week 2

September 17, 2010

by Oh No Romo

Week 2 is finally upon us. And I have made a couple of adjustments in preparation for this weekend. I added a wide receiver and dropped a tight end, and no it wasn’t Greg Olson.

I released Ben Watson and picked up Cardinals wide receiver Steve Breaston. I’m not exactly sure what I hope to get out of this Anderson-Breaston combo. Maybe it goes well, and maybe it all goes horribly wrong. I can hope for the former, but fully expect the latter.

That said, he is in my starting line up for Sunday. I benched Chris Chambers, to put in Breaston. We’ll see how the move works out for me. Chambers isn’t gone, because I don’t just want to force him off of Kotite Island.

He’s going to get his time obviously. I don’t expect Breaston and my other starting wide receivers to carry the team to victory. I especially don’t expect that to happen when Roy Williams and Nate Washington are starting for me.

As for the running game, I’m sticking with Jamaal Charles and Jerome Harrison. Hopefully Mangini doesn’t kick me in the nuts again this week and go with Peyton Hillis. Because you know, that would be kind of a “dick move,” as the kids say these days, on Mangini’s part.

Therefore, it’s my duty as a Fantasy owner to lobby for Jerome Harrison’s playing time. DO IT!!!

I’m starting the Detroit D against Philly. Yes it’s a bold move, because I should be starting the Oakland D against the Rams. But you know what, Oakland doesn’t strike me as the type of team to stop the Rams. Call it a gut feeling (bad for me, good for the sake of this column).

As of now the two notable guys I’ve left on the bench are Cadillac Williams and Mario Manningham. If Cadillac lights it up this week and Harrison doesn’t…well then I’ll probably trade Cadillac. We’ll see though.

I’m hoping to start mixing up the line-ups within the next couple of weeks, to make it interesting. Stay tuned, and I’ll see you with the next column on Tuesday. Enjoy the weekend action!


Fantasy Football Reality Check: Week 1 Recap

September 14, 2010

by Oh No Romo

The first week of the NFL season is officially done. And as expected, I lost my first Fantasy Football game of the season. But you know what, I only lost by 11 points. The final score was 87-76. So it’s not like I had no shot at winning.

I exceeded expectations with several positions. Jamaal Charles, Nate Washington and the Detroit defense all played beyond the call of duty for me. Washington led the Titans in receiving on Sunday and scored huge on a 56-yard reception against the Raiders.

Charles led the Chiefs in rushing, despite his splitting carries with Thomas Jones. However, Charles clearly made something out of nothing, by rushing for 92-yards, including a 56-yard rush for a touchdown.

My Detroit defense held the Bears to just 19 points. However, the four turnovers helped my Lions stay in this game. Just a FYI, I went up against the Jets defense, if that accounts for anything.

For starting quarterback, Derek Anderson was…well…he was Derek Anderson. He almost threw for 300 yards, but did lose a fumble.

I did have my letdowns of course. Every team has them. Jerome Harrison, Chris Chambers and Greg Olson all let me down.  I’m getting a weird feeling that Peyton Hillis will be getting more carries over Jerome Harrison. I’m not sure what I ever did to anger the Mangini, but please, PLEASE, give the kid more carries.

Chambers only had 14-yards on Monday night against the Chargers. Hey Matt Cassel, I know you’re my back-up quarterback in fantasy, but would it hurt you to throw to Chambers more?

As for Greg Olson, I feel let down the most by him. He fumbled the ball in the red zone. Olson has proven himself to be a favorite target of Jay Cutler’s, but that wasn’t the case on Sunday. So…Let’s pick it up, can we?

I’m not sure if I can get the same kind of production this Sunday. That said, adjustments will have to be made. I’ll have another fantasy column on Friday. Until then, keep dancing!


Fantasy Football Reality Check: The Roster Part 1

September 8, 2010

by Oh No Romo

After choosing not to do a live draft and instead go with an autopick draft, Team Kotite is complete. And I must admit, the results are a bit surprising, considering some of the guys I hadn’t even put in my rankings for the autopick.

In fact, I’m still trying to figure out why Antonio Bryant is on my team. He was released by the Bengals. Why do I have him!? The guy’s been hurt during the offseason.

No matter, he has been released from the team, but I figured it should give you an idea of my roster. That said, here’s my team.

Quarterback: Derek Anderson, Arizona Cardinals- Anderson won the starting job over the recently released Matt Leinart. After a 3,700 yard passing season in 2007, Anderson’s numbers dropped off in 2008 and 2009.

Anderson played a combined 18 games in his final two seasons with the Browns. Anderson was indeed the more experienced of the quarterbacks in Arizona.

Back-up quarterback: Matt Cassel, Kansas City Chiefs

Running Back, Jamaal Charles and Thomas Jones, Kansas City Chiefs

For the record, I have no clue as to why I have two KC running backs. I can tell this will need to change. Charles has potential, as he came in after Larry Johnson was let go by KC, last season.

Charles rushed for 1,100 yards in his second full season with KC. He could have a huge year, but he’s also got Thomas Jones in the backfield with him. Maybe this is strategy, maybe it’s not. I can’t take both of these guys, so we’ll see how it all goes.

Back-up running back: Laurence Maroney, New England Patriots

Wide receivers: Nate Washington, Tennessee Titans and Chris Chambers, Kansas City Chiefs

Why the hell do I have all of these Chiefs players? Are they even going to produce for me? Do I need to change the name to Haley? What the hell is going on here!? This isn’t funny!

Back-up wide receiver: Mario Manningham, New York Giants

This is all I have for part one. Tomorrow, I will take care of the tight ends, defense and kicker. I should also have my line-up announced for then too.


Fantasy Football Reality Check: The New Class

September 6, 2010

by Oh No Romo

The Prologue

Once upon a time, during the magical season that was 2008, I took first place for the first time in a football fantasy league.

No doubt, it was a magical moment in the history of Oh No Romo. There was a sense of vindication. Nobody could question me, because I won! I freakin’ won! I did so with the namesake and Joe Flacco at the quarterback position. What does that tell you!? (Okay I benefited too from the Ronnie Brown Wildcat special!)

Despite going 8-5 in the regular season, I pulled off the impossible in winning. Parades were held in a celebration. Folk songs were written about my team’s conquest in the playoffs and thus parodied by Weird Al Yankovic. Baskin Robbins created an Oh No Romo flavor for a day.

Okay, none of that was actually true. No town wanted to hold the parade. The folk singer wrote a song that never caught on in the AAA (Adult Album Alternative) charts and Baskin Robbins laughed me out of the store.

Most importantly, I didn’t receive a monetary type of award. No money was made in this my greatest conquest. No trophy or medal was ever received. It seemed almost as if my victory was as meaningless as being the first commenter to yell “FIRST” on a popular blog or online news article. It meant something to me, but not enough to brag about it at parties and job interviews.

So when the 2009 season rolled around, I sat out of the game. That’s right, I decided not to play fantasy football. The game meant nothing to me, it felt like. How was it any different from playing Madden? You can create your own team, turn off the salary cap, and win eight straight Super Bowls if you wanted. Now that’s fantasy!

However, much like a former smoker misses his or her Camels, I missed playing fantasy football. The desire refuses to leave.

But what’s the point of winning if you have nothing to play for? I never gamble on sports, with a possible exception to the NCAA Tournament.

My plan

Instead of playing to win with the best players I can get through a draft, I intend to play fantasy football using the worst players.

How many wins can you get if you have a crappy team? I am unaware of if this has happened before, or if there has even been columns using this idea, so I’m unsure of the success (or failure) rate.

The best way for me to have fun with this is to put out the worst team possible. Everybody wants to win, but if they start losing, they give up maintaining the team. If I go 0-13, so be it. I want to have the worst fantasy football team possible. I want to make losing sexy again. And I’ll stick with the program and maintain the team.

By no means am I doing this to insult those who play fantasy football. I don’t think of it as making a mockery of fantasy football…actually yeah I am making a mockery. Fantasy football deserves a loser column. Somebody has to take on this task and it might as well be me.

I’m sick and tired of the obsession over fantasy football. It’s nice to know the stats, but I don’t need to know who I should pick in the 12th round. Who gives a crap? Pick who you want to pick! If you want to pick a kicker in the first round, then go for it! Grow a pair and take Gostkowksi!

I don’t need fantasy football to make my life valid. That’s what technology is for! I fear that some out there might feel it’s all or nothing.

I sense an obsession of the game with some out there. We crave it, turning what is fantasy into our own personal reality. It’s like turning Ann Veal into Sarah Michelle Gellar. Face it, we’re always stuck with Veal and not because she’s funny.

I have little clue what I hope to do with this fantasy column. Hopefully, you find it to be entertaining. Maybe you think it’s informative. And maybe it will lead you to look in the mirror and realize that what you want to be reality, can only be fantasy.